Dichotomy of State Control (by LA2NY)

The following is a post, “Dichotomy of State Control”, by Love Systems instructor LA2NY. Enjoy!

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Every once in a while when I’m out, I notice for a good beginning portion of the night, social anxiety is holding me back from systematically getting into sets like I should. I found it odd that on one hand, there have been many nights when I get right into the swing of things, while on the other, there have been a few nights where my anxiety has been an inhibitor to my progression and productivity.

To better understand what has been happening, and to come up with a consistent solution, I started to analyze what caused the successful and unsuccessful nights. At its core, it comes down to overcoming initial approach anxiety. Approach anxiety for me used to be caused by 3 things: not being in state, limiting beliefs (inner game), and not knowing what to say if I did open (outer game). Now that inner game and outer game aren’t inhibiting issues, I know for a fact that the anxiety is strictly being caused by not being in state. The obvious solution? Find a way to consistently get in state…

So I started to analyze and breakdown the dichotomy of getting in state. There are many pre-venue solutions in the community (i.e. listening to good music, hanging out with friends, telling yourself you’re going to have a great time), but I’ve tried them all and realize the pre-venue solutions don’t always work. This holds especially true when I venture out into a club or bar on my own. Thus, the solution I needed to create was one that would allow me to consistently get in state, assuming that I am by myself and in neutral state when I enter the venue.

I’ll begin by defining two key terms:

Indifference: Indifference is the state where inhibiting approach anxiety essentially vanishes. It’s the point where you’ll open anyone with anything, and the blowouts have minimal effect on you. Essentially, at this point, you could be an opening machine if you chose to be. I’ve seen this happen with a lot of students on bootcamps, even with the ones that initially had crippling approach anxiety. Typically, if done quickly enough, after the first 5 or so sets, the student stops caring and will literally open anything they’re pointed towards.

Introversion: The opposite of Indifference. There have been nights where I’ve gone to a venue, and without making a solid effort to overcome approach anxiety, not opened a set for over 30-45 minutes. 30-45 minutes of not opening a set was usually okay if I was with friends and just focusing on having a good time. However, if I was out alone with the primary intention of practicing, past this 30-45 minute mark, it became immensely difficult to open. It was almost as if the approach anxiety had compounded on itself. Past the 45 minute mark, the longer I waited, the higher the chance I wouldn’t be opening any sets that night.

Now for the analysis of state control:

The graph above illustrates how to transition to a state of Introversion from a neutral state. From this analysis, we’ll work out a solution where a state of Indifference can be consistently achieved in as efficient a way as possible. In addition to explaining the graph, it is also important to introduce the following concepts:

Sticky States: Indifference and Introversion tend to be sticky states. That is, once a true state of Indifference has been achieved, it typically remains for the rest of the night. My experiences with it, and the experiences of bootcamp students who achieve it, are phenomenal. It is essentially the feeling of complete social liberty where every set in the venue is viewed through a lens of potential social opportunity.

On the other hand, once a true state of Introversion has been reached, it can be very difficult to escape out of it. For instance, if you are at a club alone and walking around the venue over and over for 45 minutes, chances are, it would take a lot to transition you out of your Introverted state.

State Clock: The second you walk into a venue, your state clock starts ticking. The state clock is the amount of time you can get away with not being social before you involuntarily transition into a state of Introversion. Depending on what you were doing before you arrived at the venue, your starting point will be at a different place, but on average, you will be somewhere between a state of Indifference and Introversion.

The state clock primarily applies while you are in your non-sticky neutral state, and is the reason your state will be constantly diminishing until you reach stickier states of Indifference or Introversion. Hence, if you walk around the venue alone for an extended period of time, your state continues to diminish to the point where you transition into a state of Introversion, as exhibited by the downward sloping gray arrows.

Pumping State: The most effective way for state to be pumped is by opening sets. As shown in the graph, the red line, which is your redirected trajectory, has shifted away from the otherwise downward sloping gray arrows whenever sets are opened. The pump and subsequent redirection of state is exhibited by the upwards pointing orange arrows. From there, one of two things can happen:

1.) The set goes well: If the set goes well enough, there is potential for even just one set to transition you into a state of Indifference. For instance, if your first set takes you to the bathroom and blows you, chances are you’ll have reached Indifference. This jump is represented by the green arrows.

Notice that with each set, the length of the green arrow required to transition into a state of Indifference becomes shorter and shorter. That is, with each set you open, the magnitude of how well they are required to go in order to transition you into a state of Indifference gradually declines. Thus, by the fifth set, a small victory (i.e. a number close), may be all it takes to tip you over into the glory land.

2.) The set blows you out: In the event the set blows you out, you still receive the benefit of the state pump, as represented by the orange arrow. This is assuming your foundations of inner game are solid. That is, you’ve internalized the idea that you have to accept rejection as part of the process, and that you’ve purged your system of negative beliefs, which link the result of getting rejected to counterproductive emotions (credit Mr. M & Braddock).

Keep in mind however, the more solid your set is before the point you get blown out, the longer the orange arrow will be. If you get 5 instant blowouts in a span of 5 minutes, there is a much smaller chance you’ll have transitioned into a state of Indifference. Additionally, the more high-value your set, the longer the rate the orange arrow will grow per amount of time you’re in set. For instance, a 10 minute set with a 10 will get you much closer to Indifference than a 20 minute set with a war pig.

Overview: Let’s summarize the key points. When you first come into the venue, your state is consistently diminishing. To redirect yourself away from a state of Introversion, you should open sets to pump your state. If you do this enough, even if you get blown out, you will force your way into a state of Indifference. Alternatively, if a set along the way goes well enough, you’ll be able to instantly jump your way into Indifference. Once you reach a true state of Indifference, approach anxiety typically stops being inhibiting for the rest of the night. Conversely, if you allow yourself to diminish to Introversion, it can be extremely difficult to transition out of the state the longer the night wears on.

Solution: The goal each night out is to transition into a state of Indifference as consistently and quickly as possible. Only then can you truly work on the portions of your game where you’re really having trouble.

1.) Upon Arrival: When you arrive at the venue, realize that your state clock has started ticking and thus, your state is slowly diminishing. If you’re with friends, you can add a few minutes to the clock by slightly pumping state through talking to your friends and/or the venue staff, but this is merely buying you time and stepping around the real solution. This holds especially true if you’re out alone.

However, in the event you arrive early and there really isn’t anyone there, buying time may be your best solution. In such cases, talk to the bartenders, doormen, random guys that are also there early etc… Not only will this help social-proof the room, but it will help maintain your current level of state. Just make sure you’re not using talking to the staff as an excuse for not opening sets.

2.) Open Sets: As soon as possible, start opening sets. Ideally, the second you get into the venue, you should be scanning for any possible set to open. For the first few, especially the first two, they don’t even have to be cute. Remember, the state clock is ticking, and hence, you want to start pumping your state as quickly as possible.

3.) Timing: Generally, for the first 30 minutes of the night, you always want to be in set. Typically, after 3 sets, you’ll notice approach anxiety begins to fade. If you can squeeze in 5 decent ~5-8 minute sets in the first 45 minutes, chances are you’ll hit the glory land of Indifference, and the rest of the night will be much more productive.

Glow: The third state to be aware of is the state of Glow (credit Mr. M). Glow is the state where everything seems to be going exactly the way it should be. It’s the mental state where everything falls nicely into place – all your sets hook, approach anxiety is all but a memory, and you feel as though you’re on top of the world. Achieving a state of Glow typically requires a combination of a decent number of approaches for the night, with a solid proportion of them going well. Fundamentally, the mechanics that you use to transition from a neutral state to a state of Indifference are the same ones you would use to transition from a state of Indifference to a state of Glow. (This trajectory is not depicted on the graph, but should essentially look identical to the trajectory from neutral state to a state of Indifference).

While it is very possible to achieve a state of Indifference every night, a state of Glow may take a bit more work. For the Kid Cudi or Steve Aoki fans, the audible metaphor for Glow is the 0:47 mark in this awesome, awesome party song: