Day 29: Strategy & Tactics

The Day

Superconference day 3. Listened to Mr M’s talk on advanced social dynamics, then joined the Rockstar Panel onstage. We all presented mini-segments on different topics… I talked about a framework for analysing your game (inner game or otherwise), borrowed from NLP (credit: Robert Dilts). It’s called Neurological levels and works a bit like this:

1. Path / Purpose – What you ultimately want to do in life, and how it impacts the world.

2. Beliefs / Values – What you believe in. And what is important to you.

3. Capabilities – What you can do. Tactics and technical fluency.

4. Behaviour – How you naturally act when out in-field.

5. Environment – How people react to you in-field, and environmental factors like logistics and other people.

If you take any game sticking point, you can run it through this model and it will tell you what you need to specifically work on, and at what neurological level you should work on it. It will tell you if you need to change something at a higher level (say beliefs) or just test something out in-field more (say a new routine, dependent on your behaviour and the environment around you).

Following our panel some of the Rockstars had lunch/dinner at Johnny Rockets… real American food

I then took some time off to take a quick powernap and green drink before listening to Savoy’s talk about learning game, and hearing a wrap-up of the superconference from Future (voted best instructor for 2009) – it was inspiring to hear that he came from a very dark place and is now one of the funnest, funniest, and most compassionate people I have met.

The night was spent in-field for Savoy’s birthday party at Body English (happy birthday mate!). It was a lot of fun, but also incredibly frustrating at the same time. The club was loud, and the crowd was very different from prior nights. Being a Sunday, most of the people in there were Vegas locals, and thus socially hardened. We got a lot of break rapport reactions and had to play dancing monkey to just hold conversations, as well as having to be very physically dominant when handling girls. At around 3am I had had enough and decided to leave… there was nothing new to be gained or learned from running five-to-ten minute sets and then having them fizzle because my verbal game is lacking.

Outer Game

I have a number of outer game sticking points written down at the moment. Each day, I am going to report on my progress of working through them. It feels like today is the first day where I am starting to approach Project Rockstar proactively rather than having things prescribed to me by various instructors.

Here they are-

• Verbal Game, starting with opening, transitioning and attraction. Qualification can come later. Daxx helped me with opening, and I’ll post below his very good advice. Transitioning – take the most common transitions (who, what, fun, work) and build conversation pieces that are optimised. Attraction – write scripts, build conversation pieces that set the right frames. Make sure that I use each of these in every interaction I enter into. Attraction – teasing and “dissociative thinking”, via question-answer scripts and reading Braddock’s field reports. All of this is ultimately training my neural nets and transferring initially conscious effort into unconscious ability.
• Verbal Game, qualification, comfort, SOIs etc etc. This will come later.
• Logistical Escalation. This is both an inner and outer game issue. The outer game component is about getting used to “making things happen”, and the inner game component is all about developing that killer instinct and just going for it (“sexual intent”).
• Physical Escalation. More consistency and pushing the boundaries more would be good.
• Takeaways. Mostly of a physical nature.
• Delivery. Sensual descriptions, deeper voice and slow down.

Inner Game

In addition to working on my outer game tactically I’m also going to continue to develop my inner game, slowly and bit-by-bit. Outer game takes priority. Inner game is more of a “if I have time” kinda thing.

• Logistical Escalation & just going for it. Part of this is the willingness to stick it out and to keep approaching and trying. See above.
• Identity & beliefs. Some beliefs I need to consider: girls find me attractive, girls check me out, I am sexworthy, I am a man who makes things happen.
• Boundary function.

Learnings

• I need to spend more time in off-field practice. This is like the sports team that spends all week training for a game on the weekend. Simply being out in-field and approaching non-stop, at my level, will not help me improve things. There are too many environmental variables in an interaction, and I need structure to train things first.
• Opening, Daxx-style: “Woah, woah woah… (pause) You… are…. fucking… gorgeous… who are you?” or “Hey… this is… uh… really embarrassing (pause, hold eye contact)… but I was going to wear exactly the same thing tonight.” or “Woah… (pause)… you are stunning… why haven’t we met yet?”. The key to all these is in the delivery, pausing, eye contact and dominant physical components.
• My biggest leverage point at the moment is my verbal game. I am going to hammer away at this until it is a level where I can say that it’s handled, and consistent.

- Aaron P

Day 13: Storming Munich

The What
Absolutely awesome day.

Woke up in the morning and had the time to get ready properly, do some shopping and even to start reviewing some of the notes that I’ve taken over the past 12 days.

I then headed out with Mr M & Soul to the first day of the Munich bootcamp (http://www.lovesystems.com), and met up with the rest of the Rockstars there.

We sat in on the bootcamp seminar as both students and approach coaches. For me, this was my first Love Systems bootcamp, so it was pretty enlightening. The material presented was very different from what I’ve seen taught by other companies, and is definitely more geared towards people who like to think things out logically and structurally.

After 5 hours of seminar, we headed for dinner at this awesome German “fast food” place called Ocui. You take a swipe card, get your food freshly prepared, grab a glass of wine and then sit down in an urban-chic restaurant and have healthy and awesome food.

Following dinner we all rushed back to prepare for field time. Soul, Mr M and myself also met up with a journalist who wanted to cover the bootcamp for a local paper.

But onto infield…

This was a HUGE bootcamp. 4 instructors, 6 rockstars and our tour manager Conor approach coaching, as well as locals Frame and MunichHawk and ubermentor Jeff approach-coaching too. We hit up 2 clubs in central Munich.

I only did about 5-6 sets over the course of the night, most of the time was spent making sure the students were being pushed into sets, that they were opening properly and getting into interactions. It’s kind of reflective to see what the past 10 or so days of being pushed ourselves into sets that we don’t want to do has done to our game and calibration.

All the students were phenomenal, approaching, opening, going direct, getting numbers, kiss closes and all sorts of other chaos. Congratulations to all!

I did do a couple of demo sets~

The first was an attempt to show a student what a blow out looked like, and that it doesn’t matter if a girl “rejects” you. It didn’t quite work. Some tall, hot German girls walks past. I grab her, pull her in. I tell her she is adorable. We talk. We exchange names. We get up close. We talk more. I realise that I’m supposed to be coaching the student. We talk more, and exchange flirtatious eye contact. She promises me a dance later.

The second that I remember was showing a student how to go in “semi-direct”, or basically walking up to a girl and just introducing yourself. This was in the outside area. This girl was cute. Sexy cute. She had a small piercing just below her lower-right lip and a tongue piercing. After talking with the student for a few minutes, encouraging him to approach I decide to do it instead. Normally this would be perceived as awkward, having hovered around the girl for five minutes. But what is more awkward is less awkward, but what is less awkward is more awkward (credit: TD). I open, sit down and we exchange names. She has an American accent. I ask her about it. She says that she has been to Australia. That is perfect for me, and we connect, and talk, and talk, and talk. All throughout I am doing social touching (touching her on her arm, her upper arm, her elbow, her shoulder), and “clawing” her in on emotional high points for a sideways hug (credit: Tim). I glance up at the student, and decided that the point has been made – you can open, and talk to a girl, just by going up and saying hi. I leave the set. In retrospect, I should have number-closed or facebook-closed this girl, as all the signs of interest were there. More in this below.

The third I remember was towards the end of the night. I spotted a girl standing by herself looking bored on the fringes of her group. I go up. I say hi. I pull her in towards me, introduce myself, and ask for her name. It is something German. At this point there are 5cm between our faces. We talk. And dance. I spin her around, push her away, grab her in. Soon we are locking fingers, and we are waltzing. Her arms go around my neck. I go to kiss her – no go. I spin her away, and back. We talk in what is known as “vibing” – where the content of the conversation is less important than the emotional message conveyed behind it. I go to kiss her again. She turns her head away. Spin away, pull her back in, and then I look deeply into her eyes. The tension builds as she gets the message… she is the first to break the tension, saying “no, no, not tonight…” I pull her in, arm around her waist and we just rock on the spot for a bit. At this point, I am somewhat bored, I whisper something to her, and bid her farewell…

The rest of my sets pretty much involved me grabbing girls as they walked past, whispering sweet nothings into their ears, watching them smile… and exchanging some flirtatious eye contact while their less attractive friends dragged them away

I also had the opportunity to watch Mr M & Vercetti in set. They are phenomenal. It is both awesome and worrying that as they walked around the venue… they were checked out and ogled over by both German women… and men

It is starting to dawn on me the progress we have made and are making in Rockstar. I know some of us were worried, that we wouldn’t be ready or have made enough progress as last year’s Rockstars because of less field time… but after tonight, everything is starting to come together.

Takeaways

• Teaching pickup totally changes the nature of the game and your inner game. There is something very, very different about walking into a venue and then directing the social interactions that happen in there. It’s almost like you become master of the venue and are able to influence or even manipulate the social variables there – and when you can do that, there’s no need to be anxious or even a real need for state.
• Sexual intent: this is still my main sticking point. For example, getting bored with the set towards the end of the night, or not automatically going for some sort of contact close in every set past hook point (where the girl has been engaged). Mr M says that this is pretty much a “you need to pull the trigger” problem, and is a habit to break and reform. Soul says that it’s a matter of finding hotter girls or making each set more challenging to myself. Mr M also mentioned the notion of “ohhhh”… where you see a girl, and she just does all the right things for you and you can picture yourself doing all sorts of dirty and sexy things to her.
• Escalation: I am going to structure my physical escalation more- same basic structure in the beginning, but a smoother escalation towards a kiss… touching her face, brushing away her hair, pulling her hair first… before kissing. I am also going to add in a basic two-step qualification to all the sets I run.
• Framing – friendly frame. Almost everyone I talk to I mention that the people in XYZ country are really friendly. It sets the right frame, and subsequently makes them friendlier!
• Nonsensical vibing. Something that describes how Braddock games and teases. I don’t really understand it yet, but have heard it and it’s both funny and effective, and something that I should add to my game.

Highlights of the Day

• Konichiwa opener: For probably the third time in my life I was opened my a girl. A HOT girl. She was walking past with her less attractive friend, and we made eye contact. She says: “Konichiwa! Are you Japanese?” My mind went: “No, but IT’S ON!!” I grabbed her while her friend vanished outside. We talk, we get up close, we talk… I tease her, touch her, grab her, pull her in… the words are meaningless, the meaning is in what we are doing with our gestures, our touching, and our eye contact. And then the friend reappears. And grabs her, apologises, and takes her away. As she is being dragged away, she is looking back, with a “I really want to spend more time with you” look in her eyes. I mentioned what had happened to Mr M and the Konichiwa opener is to be field tested tonight- whether the girl looks Japanese or not.
• Straight German guys offering to buy us drinks – told you people here are friendly.
• Quote of the day from Mr M: “Fuck, I never win that game” (in reference to who gets to use the bathroom first).

- Aaron P

Day 05: Casualties of War

The What

The physical, mental and emotional strains of Project Rockstar are starting to show.

Claude has a nasty virus that’s keeping him in-and-out of the sessions, Micha has a rising fever and I sprained my ankle during a training session with R (more on this later).

Today we had an all-day session with Dr Stuart Sandler about using cognitive-behavioural therapy techniques to set and achieve goals, and to overcome approach anxiety. The most fascinating thing for me out of the morning discussion was the concept that successful people – without a fail – are willing to throw their lives out of sync for a period of time to achieve a goal. This is very similar to what I was personally doing earlier this year when I was building up my business to a certain standard of success. Mr M fully agreed, and so did Dr Sandler. This was reflected in the final goal-setting prerequisite: the goal must be worded in the *now* to force your physiology and psyche into taking action.

The afternoon session was about approach anxiety and escalation anxiety, and about how to handle it. In this area, desensitisation and repeated exposure works wonders, as do some of the CBT techniques that Dr Sandler discussed. I personally still have some degree of approach anxiety and escalation anxiety. My approach anxiety is centred around logistics and “the right moment”. A lot of the time, I’ll see a set and just feel that it isn’t right to approach at that time (because they’re ordering a drink, because of where they’re standing or whatever). After today’s workshop, the thought I came away with was “there is never a perfect time to open”, so I will just do it. My escalation anxiety… I need to explore it a lot more and run the train more.

After Dr Sandler’s workshop we were given something of a reprieve in the form of a 2 hour break – I jetted back to Rockstar West to take a powernap. We then met up with R, our personal trainer. I went over my sprained ankle with him, and he told me basically: stay off your feet as much as possible, ice it 2-3 times a a day and take ibuprofen. After that we met with KingOfHearts and A (don’t know his screen name). We grabbed some food nearby and KoH talked to us about what we wanted to get out of the night. I was a bit divided over pushing for a one-night stand and getting to know the local barstaff as we were heading out in our neighbourhood. In the end, we decided to just go out and have fun.

Even though my ankle was swollen and hurting, I decided to go out – I’m here to learn after all. KoH was extremely encouraging, and not an overly-pushy the way a lot of instructors are. On the way from the restaurant, I went directly complimented a brunette British girl, and we talked for a bit. In retrospect I should have asked for her number and invited her to our housewarming party this weekend, but I didn’t. A (the instructor) told me to always ask for a girl’s number in street or daygame, because the probabilities dictate that you will never see her again. We bounced to a salsa bar nearby, stayed for a bit then moved. We headed to a more casual bar. KoH demonstrated opening and holding a set of guys and girls and Conor joined him. He then asked me to talk to a seated set of 2 girls, who were part of a larger party of 10 or so. I hesitated a couple of times then went. KoH wanted me to use his patented nuclear-bomb direct group opener, but I refrained. I just opened with hi. The two girls were extremely friendly, and we talked quite a bit about travel and London. At some point I ran out of things to say, and bid them a good evening and left. Talking with KoH, he told me that I need to just plough, plough and plough. In laymen’s speak this means to just continue talking to the group repeatedly until they accept that you’re just going to stay there. To achieve this, I think I need to explore my conversational threads more, and perhaps even formulate some type of routine stack.

I ended up talking with two Asian girls for the rest of the night. I was not particularly attracted to either, but Alex wanted to practice talking to girls in English, so we stayed. It was a bit strange. I continuously tested touching the girl I was talking to, seeing if I could escalate but while she remained flirtatious and pulled silly faces and the sort she was having none in terms of touching. After a half hour or so we had exchanged contact information and we decided to leave. KoH suggested that we bounce the girls to the next bar, and proceed to show us how to do so: tell a funny story, and create an emotional high and then suggest the bounce.

We bounce, but lost the girls (walking through the streets) at some point. KoH opened a cute blonde in the venue we bounced to, while Adam and I observed. After that my ankle was really starting to swell up and I decided to leave and rest up. The coming days are going to be tough, with all sorts of seminars, daygame and nightgame sessions planned, not to mention our whirlwind trip through Munich and Stockholm where we will be interacting with others 24/7.

Words of Wisdom (from KingOfHearts and A)

• Bouncing girls to another venue and then just leaving them there is fine. Girls do it to guys all the time.
• Plough, plough, plough, plough. Until they just accept that you’re staying there.
• Always try to number-close girls on the street. You will never get another chance.
• Don’t worry as much about physical escalation – that is one route you can take, but conversational escalation is more important. Move off mundane every-day topics as soon as possible and go into more sexual conversations as soon as possible (e.g., discussion of threesomes).
• Don’t worry that much about reading a girl’s signals. The best guys at pickup just have the mindset of “I’m hot, and she likes this because other people have liked this before and if she doesn’t like this she’s kinda weird.” This is the mindset of “if they’re still there, she’s interested.”
• Different approaches to game: if you haven’t done it before, do it until you know that you can do it. Then you will see that you have an option of whether you want to take that approach or not.

Highlights of the Day

• 4 of the 6 Rockstars being out of commission for one reason or the other. We need to man up.
• KoH suggesting that we bounce the Asian girls to Rockstar West haha.
• Vishal on his date with his hot and sexy daygame girl from yesterday (I believe he’s with her now!)

- Aaron P