Day 29: Strategy & Tactics

The Day

Superconference day 3. Listened to Mr M’s talk on advanced social dynamics, then joined the Rockstar Panel onstage. We all presented mini-segments on different topics… I talked about a framework for analysing your game (inner game or otherwise), borrowed from NLP (credit: Robert Dilts). It’s called Neurological levels and works a bit like this:

1. Path / Purpose – What you ultimately want to do in life, and how it impacts the world.

2. Beliefs / Values – What you believe in. And what is important to you.

3. Capabilities – What you can do. Tactics and technical fluency.

4. Behaviour – How you naturally act when out in-field.

5. Environment – How people react to you in-field, and environmental factors like logistics and other people.

If you take any game sticking point, you can run it through this model and it will tell you what you need to specifically work on, and at what neurological level you should work on it. It will tell you if you need to change something at a higher level (say beliefs) or just test something out in-field more (say a new routine, dependent on your behaviour and the environment around you).

Following our panel some of the Rockstars had lunch/dinner at Johnny Rockets… real American food

I then took some time off to take a quick powernap and green drink before listening to Savoy’s talk about learning game, and hearing a wrap-up of the superconference from Future (voted best instructor for 2009) – it was inspiring to hear that he came from a very dark place and is now one of the funnest, funniest, and most compassionate people I have met.

The night was spent in-field for Savoy’s birthday party at Body English (happy birthday mate!). It was a lot of fun, but also incredibly frustrating at the same time. The club was loud, and the crowd was very different from prior nights. Being a Sunday, most of the people in there were Vegas locals, and thus socially hardened. We got a lot of break rapport reactions and had to play dancing monkey to just hold conversations, as well as having to be very physically dominant when handling girls. At around 3am I had had enough and decided to leave… there was nothing new to be gained or learned from running five-to-ten minute sets and then having them fizzle because my verbal game is lacking.

Outer Game

I have a number of outer game sticking points written down at the moment. Each day, I am going to report on my progress of working through them. It feels like today is the first day where I am starting to approach Project Rockstar proactively rather than having things prescribed to me by various instructors.

Here they are-

• Verbal Game, starting with opening, transitioning and attraction. Qualification can come later. Daxx helped me with opening, and I’ll post below his very good advice. Transitioning – take the most common transitions (who, what, fun, work) and build conversation pieces that are optimised. Attraction – write scripts, build conversation pieces that set the right frames. Make sure that I use each of these in every interaction I enter into. Attraction – teasing and “dissociative thinking”, via question-answer scripts and reading Braddock’s field reports. All of this is ultimately training my neural nets and transferring initially conscious effort into unconscious ability.
• Verbal Game, qualification, comfort, SOIs etc etc. This will come later.
• Logistical Escalation. This is both an inner and outer game issue. The outer game component is about getting used to “making things happen”, and the inner game component is all about developing that killer instinct and just going for it (“sexual intent”).
• Physical Escalation. More consistency and pushing the boundaries more would be good.
• Takeaways. Mostly of a physical nature.
• Delivery. Sensual descriptions, deeper voice and slow down.

Inner Game

In addition to working on my outer game tactically I’m also going to continue to develop my inner game, slowly and bit-by-bit. Outer game takes priority. Inner game is more of a “if I have time” kinda thing.

• Logistical Escalation & just going for it. Part of this is the willingness to stick it out and to keep approaching and trying. See above.
• Identity & beliefs. Some beliefs I need to consider: girls find me attractive, girls check me out, I am sexworthy, I am a man who makes things happen.
• Boundary function.

Learnings

• I need to spend more time in off-field practice. This is like the sports team that spends all week training for a game on the weekend. Simply being out in-field and approaching non-stop, at my level, will not help me improve things. There are too many environmental variables in an interaction, and I need structure to train things first.
• Opening, Daxx-style: “Woah, woah woah… (pause) You… are…. fucking… gorgeous… who are you?” or “Hey… this is… uh… really embarrassing (pause, hold eye contact)… but I was going to wear exactly the same thing tonight.” or “Woah… (pause)… you are stunning… why haven’t we met yet?”. The key to all these is in the delivery, pausing, eye contact and dominant physical components.
• My biggest leverage point at the moment is my verbal game. I am going to hammer away at this until it is a level where I can say that it’s handled, and consistent.

- Aaron P

Day 27: So Close Yet So Far

Yet another strange day.

On the surface, things were phenomenal. A full day of superconference lectures and breakout sessions, and a great night out with students at Tao.

They were phenomenal – superb approaches, makeouts, handjobs in booths… it was all there

And now for the strange part: the realisation of my number one sticking point… and the realisation that there’s nothing I can do to fix it quickly. It came out of my post-workshop conversation with Sheriff. Most instructors have pointed out to me that they sense (with some confusion) that I almost don’t want to be at Project Rockstar. I usually get questions like “How much do you really want this?” or “Dude, why aren’t you pulling the trigger?”. Understandably, everyone thought that this was tied back to issues of sexual intent… and it kind of is, but it is actually a much larger issue than that. It is about emotional intent.

I spent a lot of time last night and this morning thinking about this, its origins and how to work on it.

It actually results in some pretty weird social interactions… like girls grabbing me to kiss me to try to work out if I like them. At the same time though, it’s also a major issue in my game.

The general solution is this: it will take time to work on, and will be a process of emotional opening up and connecting more with my emotions and the expression of them to others. Unfortunately this is not a quick process, and will take time. For the moment, I have to trust in myself that even though I am processing attraction at an intellectual and not an emotional level, the inner self always shines through. If I am talking to a girl, it is because I want to be there, even if I don’t find myself emotionally compelled to be there (that will come over time). Other people can most definitely pick up on my emotional state through my subcommunications, even if I don’t truly feel it myself yet. This is more about aligning my self-image with what is actually happening and trusting in myself more.

Resolving this sticking point will skyrocket my game. I know this. And now that I know this, it is something to work towards – I just wish I could get there faster.

- Aaron P

Day 26: Disappointment

The time spent infield today felt like the worst night I have had since embarking on Project Rockstar. At the moment I am feeling both emotionally and physically drained, and I feel disappointed with myself. It has had enough of an emotional impact that it overcasts the phenomenal daytime seminar sessions we had with the World’s Hidden Masters (http://www.worldshiddenmasters.com/) and Mr M on Inner Game.

The majority of the Love Systems instructor crew and Rockstars who are here in Vegas went to Tao, the local hotspot for Thursday. Steep cover (we got a table), and overall a pretty cool club. But the entire night felt like slog after slog after slog… over the course of five hours or so, I must have talked to over fifty different groups of people. Most of them followed some basic pattern of opening in some variation of direct, then transitioning and then just chitchat… all the sets seemed to fizzle out during attraction or qualification. A couple of them that I remember well-

Vegas girls: someone bounced them over to our table. I winged. Escalation, finger locking, eye contact, conversation. It was weird – all the nonsensical stuff that I could get away with in Europe did not hit at all. She did keep on reengaging the conversation though, and I probably lost her by not escalating fast enough towards a kiss or a makeout (this is Vegas, these things should be fine in front of peer groups).

10-second kiss: I grabbed this tall blonde girl walking by and told her that she looked stunning in her dress, and held eye contact. After a couple of seconds she grabbed me and kissed me, then ran off giggling.

The number one thing missing from tonight was me having fun. I really wasn’t. It was likely a combination of jetlag, all-day seminars about deep and emotional topics, the instructor assessments taking place and the cultural differences between the US (and Vegas) and the time spent in Germany and Sweden. It also didn’t help to have various people throughout the night remind me that I was looking terrible

So the biggest takeaways from today were… 1) have fun, 2) kill the limiting belief that my game is not good enough. It is. I may have to revive some higher-energy routines and forms that I stopped using a while ago to adapt to the environment, but so be it.

By objective measures the night was great – a talked to a bunch of girls, kissed one, heavily flirted with dozens of others and got to wing and watch world-class instructors do their thing… but it certainly does not feel that way.

- Aaron P